Seriously, nothing to say.

Oh this hot weather is KILLING ME (note: slight exaggeration).  I have been reduced to this sweaty puddle of lady.  I know you people who are experiencing the 44+ degree temps, might tell me to GO GET STUFFED with the 35 we will be experiencing today, but the Summer average for Armidale is SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT 28 with daily afternoon storms to cool it down to enable sleep.  Which is nice and managable, BUT WE HAVE NOT SEEN AT ALL THIS YEAR.

Anyway, we used to live in a bushfire area in te Dandenong Ranges and it's not quite the same risk here, so I feel for anyone who is in a danger area, it's horribly scary.  I hope you are ok, and are seated somewhere nice and quiet, with a nice breeze and a long island iced tea.  (JUST LIKE I AM, I am not in my pjs, with toothpaste all over my face and neck because an 18 month old insisted on brushing my teeth, and waiting in anticpation the change of a poo nappy within the next few minutes).

Other than maintaining my fancy lifestyle, I am just lazing around, it's too hot to do anything (the hottest time of the day here is like from 3-7pm, so EVENING EXERCISE AND CHILDREN SLEEPING is impossible), planning a trip to the pool today and wondering what madness I agreed to with a winery lunch with others tomorrow.  I am having an internal freak out already as Rubes is due to start school in 2014, which just seems ridiculous and I am panicking about picking the right school (we are zoned for the worst school in the area, so I am trying to work some magic and get her into somewhere else).

Have I ever mentioned that I may infact be a highly strung individual?  No?  Ok.

A serious little side thought.

I sometimes read MamaMia.  Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't (I think I am possibly more of a Jezebel lady, who I know oft influences some of the MM posts), but they recently featured this video.


Which is awesome and sad and thought provoking (worth a watch).  I have this poster on my desk at work from Roald Dahl's book The Twits:

And it's TRUE, and it's something I think about a lot.  I think I have written before that I come from a hyper-critical parent who never had a nice thing to say about anyone, and it's a hard habit and mould to break.  But I have also over the years had the realisation that the ugliness of such a personality - a person who is compelled to say nasty things about other people and put them down, is just reflecting the pain, dissatisfaction and disappointment that colours their own existence.

And it is a choice not to be like that.

2012... it was the year that was the year of stuff

I am not a big resolution maker.

But I have been thinking a lot about the end of last year in this now new year, like I said before, everyone I know had a pretty trying 2012, and there is a lot of hope for the new year.  Hope is nice.  I have been instead gathering in my head all the stuff from this year that is significant or otherwise.

THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN MY WORLD

We added to the family with another dog!  This is Suki with Georgie, she is a German Shepherd/Husky cross (this photo entitled George's mini-me was taken in JUNE, Suki is now small pony size, possibly double the size of George who is a big dog).  She is big and soft-hairy and we were given her when she was 6 weeks old.

We have been lucky with all our animals, she has a lovely nature, is gentle with kids and happy to chill with the other animals.  It's also weird having an obedient dog who comes when called.

Last year I changed my idea of what a friend looks like.  So we moved to a new place (Armidale, NSW with a population of about 27,000) at the end of 2011, so it has been our first year in our new home.  I was desperately lonely for adult company and I would jump on DrMr when he got home and grilled him about all aspects of his day.  I would strike up conversations with random drunk, crazy people in line with the post office.  Small towns are famous for being a bit cliquey with newcomers and Armidale is no different.  But... I made new friends, I swallowed my pride, put myself out there and pulled people into my circle who I wouldn't have necessarily connected with before - and I would have missed out on that in Melbourne.  GOSH, LOOK AT THIS NEWFOUND MATURITY.

I grew my hair long.  Which is weird as I have always been a short haired lady.  I also discovered that my hair at the roots is so silvery grey now, that I look like a freaking tinsely Christmas ornament.

I lost my fear of bugs, spiders, snakes.  Except for these crazy pink moths who seem to mate once a year and absolutely covered our windows one night, it was this horrendous cannibal sexing bug orgy.  DISGUSTING.

I found a job that I finally REALLY like.  I wake up in the morning and am happy to go to work.  Gosh it makes a big difference, doesn't it?

I sort of fell into a community.  I am and have always been a city girl.  I RELISH anonymity which does not happen in a small town.  In the city, I would feel uncomfortable in a cafe if they knew how I liked my coffee.  BUT HERE, if I go to the supermarket and don't see 4 people I know, it's EXTREMELY ODD.... and, and... I kind of like it.  Just a little bit.  But people in this town can not drive and I do want to punch them all in the face when they do not know how to behave when they find themselves AT A ROUNDABOUT.

We thought we would have a third baby and then we all got gastro and thought again about not having a third baby.

I had a baby that turned 1 (but this pic is just from a few days ago!)

And a big girl turn 4.

So for 2013, I kind of just want to find some quiet in my head, which can be a noisy place at times.  I want to start feeling more settled here, relax more and nourish all my relationships.

Hello World

Happy New Year Blogland!

Man.  I needed a blog break.  I have been feeling very jaded with the world of blogging.  Apart from Georgie Love (ARGH 7 years) I have been blogging for very much well over 12 years and it has changed a lot.  And I have obviously changed a lot, as has my life.  But in the past 2 years, blogging HAS. CHANGED.  and I was super uncomfortable about it, so decided to put it aside some what and concentrate on the real world happenings and see how I felt.  However, clearly it is a New Year and I LIKE blogging, and I have had so many things I have wanted to talk about, but I would sit down, read all these sponsored blogs and arguments and trolls and nastiness, that I just would sit down and exhale and all the words would escape me like a balloon.  So I would close the laptop, play with the kids, have a nap or read something else instead.

But, I reiterate, it is a new year and I have to put the things that are flittering around my brain somewhere.  Life has changed, and people have changed and the whole online community has changed and for better or worse, I don't think I have.  There are certainly things I would like to change about my life for 2013, but I am essentially - the same.  Keep on keeping on.

2012 overall from what I read of my friends (and me), was a shit year.  Or a tough year.  For me - it was an odd year, the word I feel right now is UNCOMFORTABLE, a lot of uncomfortable change required, or uncomfortable realisations.  I went from being a frustrated stay-at-home parent, to a part-time working parent to feeling a very content full time working parent.  I found a job that I REALLY enjoy and makes me happy, and I made a new network in Armidale, some new friends and finding my feet (sort of) in a new town, and trying to get over the guilt that comes with being a working parent.  You know what, the kids are ok.  The kids are better than ok.

thank you haters!

I got this from Facebook, but I can't remember who - if it was YOU I am sorry that I can't give you credit, but thank you.  It's fabulous.

BADLY PHOTOSHOPPED RUSSIAN WEDDING PHOTOS.

Hey, what's your name

I have two email accounts - one for Georgie Love and one personal gmail, well one really I guess, because they both go to my gmail account.  Now my gmail account is a very generic first name last name letter combo and as a result, I get wrong emails meant for other people ALL THE TIME.  Seriously several times a week.  I have thought about starting another blog for all the weird random photos I get.

These just came in a few minutes ago.  They look happy.  My favorites that came in though which I wish I kept were of someone's wall.  I am not sure what it all meant.  I usually just delete them, but maybe I need to CATALOGUE and start making up names and stories for them.  For example, Grandma Delilah on the end here just murdered her husband (poison).  Everyone is very happy because he was a bastard, but super wealthy and now they are all going to take a year long cruise on the QE2.  Cheers.

One thing I did wonder about is the fact that the three younger ladies seem to be wearing pearls.  Weird.

workies

This is me: LADY IN THE OFFICE

So. Hello there, how are things with you?   I am officially in the realm of being a true and verified card-holding WORKING MAMA.  And good lord am I freaking exhausted.  But happy.  I really love working and I definitely missed it.  I feel more “myself” and like it was maybe the missing piece to moving to Armidale.  Of course, I have always been working on Georgie Love, but that doesn’t quite feel the same.  I get to talk to ADULTS and they TALK BACK TO ME and I am ENTRUSTED WITH TASKS. 

But good lord the MOTHERGUILT.  I am keeping a close watch on how the kids are coping with the change.  Ruby absolutely adores her Montessori Preschool and I have nothing to worry about there, she is thriving in Armidale – she loves school and her ballet and swimming classes.  She has a few close friends and is the happiest and most confident that I have seen her.  Lola being my gregarious baby is happy and settling in well at her daycare.  I am making a concerted effort that when I am with the girls that I am solely focused on them – I don’t spend much time CLEANING, or in my office or on my computer or phone, I try and plan things they will love, playing games at home, lots of time running around outside while the weather is still ok.  They are really responding to this positively, and it’s dawning on me that that quality time is far more important than the slightly distracted quantity time.  We all cherish it and love that special time together.  I think it’s making me a better parent.

But you see, I am a control freak.  I am one of those people who can’t relax while there are still things to be done.  This has been my biggest challenge, LETTING THINGS GO.  My kids are well fed, happy and healthy, it doesn’t matter if the couch is full of clean washing ready to be put away (it won’t be – the couch is in front of the fireplace where we have all naturally gravitated it’s a warm place in the morning), or if there are toys that are living in odd places and that the towels and sheets are overdue a wash.  Cleaning is no longer pre-emptive.  It’s a constant catch up, and I am trying to be ok with it. 

So there is a lot going on, and with the Rube’s preschool committee that I volunteer on, I quite seriously get barely a minute a day to myself, which is the tiring part.  I feel little stretched thin and the three week cold I have been enjoying is indicative of that.  Is this what you have to sacrifice as a working mama?

Other news

Kitty is continuing her killing campaign.  Clearly we were not appreciative enough  of the dead creatures in the house/on the doorstep as she has started leaving just delicately placed and neatly organised sweetmeats by the door.  Liver, pancreas, intestines.  Delicious.  It’s lovely that she is so appreciative of us all and her happier life with us, but I mean.  I can do without the death.  Meanwhile, it’s a good anatomy lesson for the 3.5 year old.

The goats are also on a kind of terror campaign also.  We have Shetland ponies who live next door and the goaties think that they are a part of the same herd, so they are constantly sneaking through the fence to hang out.  They got into the neighbour’s HOUSE the other day and ate all their houseplants and pooped everywhere.  Now if that was me, I would have gone FREAKING MENTAL, but they kind of laughed as they told us a number of days later.  RELAXED PEOPLE.  Hopefully it will rub off on ME.

Georgie is a happy, content older dog who is enjoying retirement!  He loves a wander around the property with kitty, chasing kangaroos and sleeps in front of the fireplace.

DrMr grew up with German Shepherds and loves them and somewhat naively I said that we could get one in the future.  Our ace electrician’s Shepherd has just had puppies and is giving us one.  Just what I need MORE BABY ANIMALS.  He is insisting on chickens next (we just need to work out how to manage kitty and chickens) and then miniature pigs.  I mean.  Sheesh.  WHERE WILL IT END.

Picmonkey

I have talked before about how awesome Picnik is (online photo editing software), and I was devastated to discover they had been bought by google and it was changing some and moving over there and the site was shutting down.  Boohiss.  I had a paid membership.

Some of the team members from picnik have however got together and made picmonkey.  And it's GREAT.  It's free to use now, but there are some advanced options that I probably will pay for when it goes official.  I had a play around with it.

This is a photo I took this morning to send to my bestie who lives in the US who doesn't believe I wear colour these days, let alone yellow.  Yellow is one of my fave colours.  We have had a broken tank pump and had no water to the house for 2 days so I felt FERAL (no showering and face washing mostly with baby wipes), was up ALL NIGHT with a teething nine month old and a nightmaring 3.5 year old, so you know, NOT FEELING SO CHEERY.  In a pretty shitty mood to be honest.  GOSH!  You wouldn't know it.

HEY SAL, HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT, YOU LOOK FABULOUS!

YE OLDE WORLDE SAL

Oh LOOK, I AM SO FLIRTY, DIRTY AND FUN LOVING.

etc, etc since I am SICK OF LOOKING AT MYSELF.

I did these in about 2 minutes, but there about a zillion ways to edit and I am GLAD for it.  I know some people who were fans of picnik who might like to know about picmonkey.

Miss Kitty BangBang

I think I have mentioned before that we adopted Kitty.  She was a rescue cat, pregnant and dumped in the Armidale river, but looking at her now, you wouldn't know it.  She is an extremely happy and chatty cat, loves to play and have cuddles and is super gentle with the kids (baby Lola is her favourite and she sits next to her all day, and purrs when Lola pulls her ears and pats roughly, she tries to sleep at Lola's feet in her cot, but we keep removing her both to Kitty and Lola's dismay).  ALSO I am allergic to cats and have been my whole life, they give me asthma, make me itch, sneeze, eyes water... friends with cars know I come to their houses HEAVILY DOSED, but I still often start sneezing.  HOWEVER I have had not ONE reaction to Kitty and I pat her all the time, push her off my pillow at night, now she has decided that since it is so very cold, she would like to sleep under the covers with us.    Even Georgie and Kitty adore each other, you can often see them taking walks together around the property, playing outside and sitting next to each other inside.  We often remark how well Kitty fits in with our family.  Like she was meant to be with us.  We love her.

She is also SUPER cheeky.

HOWEVER.  Kitty is a killer.

She has brought in as gifts for all of us 4 rabbits (which we remark at as they are often 2 times her size and she has to drag them in through a high dog flap that it is no mean feat), a very large handful of birds, a POSSUM and countless frogs, moths and spiders.  When DrMr was in Portugal for a conference a week or so ago I came home in the middle of the day and it literally looked like a pillow had exploded in one lounge, with a little mangled bird body in the other.  I was SO tired with solo 4:30am starts and 2 sick babies that I cried at the mess.

Ruby has been very curious about death lately and it has involved lots of conversations about who would help her make her bed if I died.  She thinks she can make her own dinner, but making her bed is the tricky job.  It has certainly been a reality check on what happens when you die.  It's quite simple in her mind, when you die YOU GET EATEN BY A CAT.

Things you should note: Kitty has a bell.  Kitty is kept inside at night.  I let the animals out at about 6:30am this morning to go to the toilet and about 20 minutes later I hear Ruby asking "what is Kitty eating?".  DrMr and I looked at each other with sinking hearts ready to justify why it is the other person's turn to clean it up.