Thursday, February 21, 2008

Dear John, I mean Australia Post

Dear Australia Post,

Ah, my darling, Australia Post... I know we've been having this tempestuous love affair for years now, we're so hot and cold with each other, our constant bickering and making up. Remember that time it took you over two weeks to send an Express Post package to me? Oh lordy, I was so angry with you! Luckily, we made up quickly when you sent something to me from Japan to Australia within 24 hours. Everyone told me it was due to the efficiency of Japan's mail, but I defended you. I knew you had it in you my Australia Post.

But the thing is, Postie, I am baffled by this letter you sent me this morning. I know, I know, I can be critical of you sometimes and yes, sometimes you are an ass, but see, I didn't think you were so... petty. I have forgiven all of your past transgressions, I haven't pursued refunds from late Express Post deliveries (which, if now we are being petty, is maybe 40% of the time), I consoled Julie Knoblock on your behalf when you lost her big package of pendants for Georgie Love, that's why, I don't know, I feel so hurt that you could just turn around and be be so cold.

Postie, as you know, I send many packages a week. I package each one carefully, with love and safely - because I know you like it a little rough! *giggle* I send so many, some with stamps, some at your outlets, so I tend to have a good idea what things cost to post. But this accusation in your letter to me that I underpaid you $3 for sending a small package... I have sent 50 of these items and they have never cost me more than $4, so really Post - who's shortchanging who?

Your large wordy letter you posted to me, printed so nicely and professionally, I can't help thinking that this whole process must have cost you MORE than the $3 you are asking from me. So this is what we've come to?

So... well... I think we should start seeing other people. I read the other day about how in the UK they now have more than one postal company to choose from. Nothing makes someone rise to the game like competition! I just think there is someone better out there for me. Someone... smarter, fitter, a real go-getter! I need to make myself available to find that someone... wherever they may be.

No love,


Angie and Dan said...

As I sit here reading your very funny Dear John to Australia Post, I am awaiting the doorbell to tell me that Royal Mail have FINALLY got my address right so that my package (which has been returned 3 times now to the collection center for no good reason)can finally be mine. Unfortunately the competition is just as bad, if not worse, sitting at home all day, when I should have been at work, waiting for computer parts to arrive and being told the next day that the driver FORGOT us and that it will be redelivered "sometime" next week! And don't even get me started on the queues...
I feel your pain :)

Georgie Love said...

Does anyone, anywhere have a nice thing to say about their postal service? ! Is it awful everywhere? I was hoping for more! ;-)

Betty Jo said...

Every time I pop a package in the mail box I feel my life(well,my business) has been taken out of my hands and into the hands of many other anonymous faces.
It's nerve wracking. I don't much like it(the phone calls, the delays etc.) but with no alternative what can we do but mail the goodies and pray to the god of reliability!
Which is what I've just done with the owlie order xxx liz

Michelle said...

I feel for you! I've been pretty lucky with post being sent OS, but within Australia tends to be very ordinary. I also find a difference in price between an actual Aust post shop, and a newagency outlet. The outlets don't seem to understand the rules on what a letter is and what a small parcel is, for instance. It drives me spare.

My ex-mailroom hubby (not my ex-hubby!) read your post and suggested that you lodge a formal complaint with Australia Post, especially about the late express post parcels. As he says, you pay a premium on those bags because you are paying for a guarantee of delivery. Non-delivery or late delivery means a broken promise! No wonder you are heartbroken ;-)