Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Crazy half-written story from the middle of the night #2786


I was cleaning out my drafts in my inbox (I have so many half written things and notes to myself, that it is ridiculous) and came across this not quite story - not quite anything else, that I wrote in the middle of the night a number of months ago. I don't know what else to do with it, so here it is.
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I'm pregnant. As I am typing this, it's probably about 8 weeks, but as you are reading this, I am surely in the 2nd or 3rd trimester, in the SAFE TO TELL EVERYONE zone. It's mine and my lovely partner's first, after the shock and financial panic, we are fairly thrilled.

But how am I going to start telling people? I have a fairly offbeat sense of humour, so whilst I think "I'm Knocked Up" cards sent to family and friends is both irreverent AND accurate, I can imagine it might not be taken in the spirit of joy and happiness is intended.

Is "Sally Morrigan is baking a bun in her oven"* going to have the same impact and response as my status in Facebook?

See these are the things people don't tell you about. I am now comfortable with the whole pooping during the birth thing and people tell you about pregnancy brain forgetfulness, but they didn't tell me this. I've gone soft. And more than a little bit crazy.

I am building a person here, I can't stay awake at work during the day SO WHY CAN'T I SLEEP AT NIGHT? I started writing this at 2:39 AM and WHY are my eyes CONSTANTLY itchy?

I am fortunate enough not to have a scrap of morning sickness (sorry about that), but I am SO HUNGRY all the time that if you stop and talk to me for too long, I might start nibbling at your fingers. I am frequently at the supermarket (dips, crackers, carrots, grapes, dried apricots, yoghurt and some museli that is so healthy it is hard to stomach), but see whilst I am CONSTANTLY needing to consume, that isn't my prompt for the supermarket. It's...it's... the TOILETRIES AISLE.

I spent close to $40 the other day on citrus, mango and pomegranate soaps, shower gels, talcs... the whole kit and kaboodle. Ladies, that is FORTY DOLLARS on HAND SOAPS and SHOWER GELS. I am a bargain hunter from way back and it's usually the $2 for that massive head-sized pump pack of mystery soap that is so harsh it erodes all moisture from your skin, so they are left scaly, sore but CLEAN.

But now, we are getting close to the real point here. It's documented in all kinds of places - I love handmade. There is a real relationship between mothers and crafting, I read so many blogs where people post pictures of their children (handmade) and their other cloth, thread and paper creations - there is a real community out there, supportive and inspirational. There are so many people making wonderful handmade products for babies and little children that I have died and gone to heaven - but I have discovered a new brand of crazy for myself....

APPLIQUED ONESIES.

I AM OBSESSED.

Will this ever go away? Or am I ruined, cynicism lost and destined now to seek out the cutest baby clothes to make me squeal with delight? I AM RUINED.
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(note: that super-cute elephant Onesie is made by the patacake baby on etsy)

*oh and a little note to this, I think this is pretty close to what I did. Because I am oh-so smart AND classy.

4 comments:

CurlyPops said...

I would love it if someone sent me a "I'm knocked up" card in the mail...now that would be hilarious!

kirsten said...

your hilarious! i'm currently 9 weeks pregnant and i did announce it on facebook (such a strange thing)

appliqued onesies did become an obbsession until i realized that gerber onesies run SUPER SMALL!!! FYI, my 25 percentile 12 month old wore like 18 or 24 month onesies when she still wearing 6-9 month clothes. so the obsession ended quickly when i realized that she didn't fit into any of the adorable things i just made her.

BigCat said...

I love it. What a great story to find months later. It's wonderful to be along for the journey with you.

potty mouth mama said...

Such a funny story.. It's true, your brain goes a little funny when you're pregnant, mine went all soft and mushy?! Very cute onesie.

And I told my friends when I was preggo the first time, by hiding the ultrasounds in an envelope of photos from a recent trip. Ha! One friend was IRATE that I told her that way, but I've never been a serious person, so it was my silly way!