Tuesday, May 04, 2010

I am not smarter than a pre-school grader.

See my kid up there? Angelic-looking little blonde hair, blue eyed thing? She is totally kicking my arse/ass at the moment.

She's rounding up to 18 months so I kind of go, ok maybe she is starting the terrible twos early (tantrums started from 11 months, she likes to get in the bad behaviour early), but our days are spent with her systematically doing one naughty thing after another - she will run from playing with the electrical socket, to pulling rubbish out of the bin to drinking water from Georgie's bowl. All things she is very clear are not good things to do. It's a game that lasts ALL DAY. I understand about testing us, blah blah blah and we do new things every day and I try to have lots of fun and different activities, but LORDY I am TIRED and need you to SIT ON THE FLOOR and look at pictures of DUCKS for 5 minutes while Mummy mainlines TEQUILA.

She has started this new trick, which is ridiculously clever. If she wants to be picked up - she is, but if I am in the middle of something I want her to learn some patience (darling, mummy will just finish washing the dishes and will pick you up as soon as she is finished) what she has started doing is lying on the floor PRETENDING she has fallen over and will kick and flail and say either "uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh" (what we say when something has been dropped) or "ouch ouch ouch ouch" so that someone will pick her up IMMEDIATELY she then sees you come over to her and with a big grin puts her arms up to be picked up. I fell for this about 3 or 4 times before I saw her start the whole show. SHE IS ALREADY SMARTER THAN ME, THAT IS NAUGHTY GENIUS RIGHT THERE.

Lucky she is so cute and sleeps for 13 hours at night and another 2 or so during the day, because otherwise the wolves in the woods would be raising her.


Elisa said...

Oh my lord, that is THE cutest kid ever. For realz.

PottyMouthMama said...

I just know that Rubes and Scouty are destined to be mates. Really tight. You and I will be strapped to a gurney, we'll mainline tequila and get our heads shaved. It will be ace.

Mama Mogantosh said...

Me too, can I come? Ted likes to beg 'Up, up, up' until I pick him up and then he demands 'Down, down, down.'

My brain is bleeding just a little bit. That gurney, is it comfortable? If we squint perhaps the locked ward could look a little like a boutique hotel.

Cat said...

Oh your post has me in stitches! She's hilarious and I totally understand that feeling of, "sheesh, can you PUHLEASE sit down and sit still for just 5 minutes!" all too well. At least she's smart and isn't boring! :)

Sammy said...

Gorgeous pic!
Abi went through the lying down phase too. She is 21 months, but the phase only lasted a few weeks.

But yes, I agree. I am amazed how smart toddlers are. Abigail counted to 17 the other night! Ahhh!


Cath @ chunkychooky said...

I think that is the hardest age- 18months, busy use to just run away from us and trash things all the time, so much so that we didn't go out the three of us- for coffee for aaaages as it was just so stressful. it suxs.
Busy still does the ' i just fell over' when she is in trouble or she has a sore 'lip' or some such thing... we call her Hollywood. it is so hard.
may the force be with you.

Betty Jo said...

A little devilish schemer, and cute to boot..... I know that combo only too well!

HappyJacki said...

Great post! My son is 23 months and we've been living with terrible two behaviour for months now. It's amazing that they loooove to seek out behaviour to annoy us! Why can't they see the fun in just sitting with a picture book?!

TanyaMac said...

Geez I'd rather have a cheeky wee rascal over a saintly child anyday! She is absolutely adorable, I'm expecting my first little 'un in September so wish me luck! I'm gonna need it!!! ;)

Virginia said...

I hate to tell you this, but so far, in my experience (birth to age 13) this "phase" NEVER STOPS.

Now, go buy some stock in a tequila company.

Anonymous said...

That was such a funny post! I can feel your agony. My two year old (understandably) can't bear me being on the computer... so looks up with his big brown eyes, tells me "Marco loves Mamma", I pick him up, he snuggles his curly blonde head into my neck, looks into my eyes again to make sure I'm there and loving him - THEN HIS ARM DARTS OUT AND TURNS OFF THE COMPUTER. Animal.

Am I dumb? Yes! I fall for it all the time. Lucky they're sooooo cute.